4 min read
It’s an age-old adage: engaging with your senses helps to not only perceive the world – but also deepens our connection with what we are experiencing. So can we engage our 5 senses – sight, sound, touch, smell & taste – to build a healthier relationship? The answer is yes! And to help us figure out how we can turn to the Cherish Time Framework. Here’s a quick example.
The best part of this framework is the versatility with which we can leverage it. The Cherish Time Framework can create a moment of connection before a difficult conversation, before heading to bed at night, first thing when you wake up in the morning, or simply as another way to say “I Love You” and here are specific reasons why. Deepening our connection with our partner is an essential love vitamin because it helps to replenish your love bank account.
What I love most about this framework is the simplicity and yet specificity that it prompts the one describing what they are feeling. And then the anchoring that repeating what you’ve heard allows the one receiving love to hold on to. This framework unlocks vulnerability and strengthens intimacy all in less than 2 minutes.
We learned about this exercise in our conversation with Francesca & Stan Levine (and you might even hear my silent soulful sobbing – as I watched the magic of this framework unfold in front of my eyes in real time.) Following are the dialogue prompts that they shared:
Sight – Looking leads to noticing which leads to appreciating. Start by looking into each other’s eyes.
When I look at you what I see is ___
When you look at me what you see is ___
Sound – The word “listen” is a rearrangement of “silent” – take a moment to recollect how you feel when you listen to your Partner’s voice.
When I listen to you what I hear is ___
When you listen to me what you hear is ___
Touch – Tactile knowledge is tacit; reach over and hold your Partner’s hands.
When I touch you what I feel is ___
When you touch me what you feel is ___
Smell – You can’t save smell, it’s ephemeral; lean in to soak it in.
When I’m near you what I smell is ___
When you are near me what you smell is ___
Taste – When smell is combined with taste you get flavor; to learn the flavor of your love – share a kiss.
When I kiss you what I taste is ___
When you kiss me what you taste is ___
The flow of conversation involves both partners, the first partner starts & shares, and the second partner repeats & reaffirms. Then you switch. Both roles leverage the 5 senses to deepen our sense of connection.
The inspiration for this Framework came from our Interview with Stan and Francesca Levine. To learn more about them and listen to their episode check out this link.