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Commit Your Time

Before starting on any adventure, it is important to set the right expectations. Creating a structured time allows you to hold each other accountable and avoid disappointment. 

Sit with your partner and agree to a recurring block of time. During this time you both will explore ways to strengthen your relationship. Discuss how you and your partner can commit to this shared time and space. It could be using Calendars, Lists, Zoom, Post-it Notes, a contract written on a piece of paper or just a verbal agreement.

One of the tools we use to commit our time is shared Calendars with a weekly “Conscious Coupling” session. This allows us to show our commitment to our relationship by prioritizing this event over other activities that might come up. This session for a few hours every week is sacred, yet flexible to accommodate changes.

Activities to Explore

The traditional idea of date nights involves going for a movie, romantic dinner, or a walk in the park. The idea is to get to know each other better. Conscious Coupling aims for something more intentional.

After committing your time to each other:

• Create a shared understanding of what this time will be used for.
• Explore what activities you can do with your partner.
• Discuss and set realistic expectations on what you hope to get out of this time.
• After the event, take a moment to reflect on how this helped and what you can do differently next time.

We too started off believing that conversations over dinner would be enough to understand each other better. Now, our date nights have evolved to doing that AND more. During our weekly Conscious Coupling sessions, one of us plans an activity beforehand. When we don’t have a plan, we improvise. The intention is to get past the “How was your day?” small talk, enabling us to learn about each other in a more meaningful way.

To inspire some ideas for your conversations here’s a list of resources we’ve put together.