5 min read
As per the book 5 Love Languages “How you instinctively give love may not be the same as how you receive love.” What is your style? How do you communicate with your partner that you want to make love? We all have our unique styles… maybe you dress up for your partner, perhaps you put on extra perfume? Or maybe you like to leave a note, whisper sweet talk, or are just upfront about your needs and put it on the shared calendar.
The longer you’ve been with your partner, the more likely it is that at times you and your partner’s needs haven’t always been in sync. The days when your moods are not aligned may even result in miscommunication or suppressed feelings leaving you unsatisfied. This can even cause unintentional hurt, and feelings of being unwanted or unloved.
Talking about your needs and desires wasn’t something we were taught when young. These are skills we practiced with our Partners over time. We tried using Safer Space to help us create an environment where we could share our feelings without the fear of being rejected and judged. However, even that wasn’t enough to help us when it came to talking about something so intimate. This is why we wanted to share a Framework that we use to communicate our Love Status effectively.
Everyone has different physical needs. For us, in the start it was all about play and exploring; there was novelty, excitement, and anticipation of the unknown. As weeks turned into months, the spark began to transform into a familiarity (which is very normal). In the hopes of clinging to that flame, we found ourselves pursuing well-known methods for rekindling the spark: date nights, candle-lit dinners, even fringe foreplay. Each method added a little to our embers, but nothing seemed to add consistency, and we weren’t sure why. Was there something wrong with us? Were we not compatible sexually?
At some point, it felt like there were more questions than answers. Around this same time, we were playing around with the idea of Conscious Coupling. We needed a way to simply ask for what we wanted candidly and know that our Partner hears us. So we started working on a tool to help us do that.
This tool is simple and elegant – and has been incredibly powerful in helping us expand the boundaries of intentional and explicit non-verbal intimate communication.
Here’s How it Works
Print and fold the PDF along the edges, to make a prism shape to get the 3 faces mentioned below.
Receiving – I am in the mood to receive some love
Giving – I am in the mood to give love
Neutral – I am letting the energy in the air decide
For some of us, it can be quite hard to simply share with our Partner that I only want you to do me. This Receiving face of the tool takes the edge off that while turning the heat on. For moments when you are not in the mood or don’t have the energy to give any love but don’t mind fulfilling your Partners’ desires, use the Giving face. The Neutral face is for the days in between.
We each have our Love Status by our bedside and update as needed (meaning some nights only I share my status and others Ansh). Over time, we have evolved the use of the Love Status for other love languages as well.
The goal of Love Status is communicating compatibility; enabling you to build a stronger bond of love and affection. Over time the Love Status tool will help develop a shared Love Language for you and your partner. Eventually, we hope it will transform into a relic from your early relationship that you only pull out to relish.
Has implementing this framework revolutionized our sex life? No. But it has allowed us to share what’s on our minds when just dropping hints wasn’t working.
What can you do?
Steal Like an Artist, and make this framework your own. Use the image above to get inspired and add your twist to it that works for you and your partner. The tool we use is a physical device that enhances the concepts presented in the post and indicates the level of desire for each of these faces. If you are interested in learning more about that, contact us and we’d be happy to share more details.