Starting from a place of Resource with Julie Hilsen – Love Vitamins for Relationships
Julie Hilsen is a spiritual activator who has written the book, Life of Love a Joyful Guide to Self and Sensuality. She is delighted to share how the everyday person in everyday life can reach a higher state of happiness through self-discovery and the simple task of asking. Her approachable book details how to call in your angels and guides as a supplement and to accelerate your ability to live a life of love.
Importance of Self Discovery
If you don’t understand why you need what you need or what is it that you’re asking for, it’s very hard for you to communicate that information. A lot of the times we come into a relationship just hoping that a person’s gonna be able to pick up the pattern or really help us do that hard work. Philosophically and logically, we do get that it’s something that we have to own. Consistently we come to a relationship because we’re so intimately tied, expecting our partner to be able to help pick up the slack and be like, “oh, you should know this by now.” “I always get angry when you do X, Y, and Z.” Well, okay, have you spent any time really understanding why X, y, and Z makes you upset? That’s still your responsibility.
Julie shares how she understand the needs of herself and her husband to build a healthier relationship.
Once I owned that, that my husband, even though he loves me to the moon and back, can’t read my mind once I was able to realize he wasn’t a superhero. He’s a mere human. He’s Im mortal just like me. That, me giving him, Cold shoulder isn’t gonna teach him to love me more.
You have to show up how you want to be loved and, and you know, show by example. And you have to lovingly ask from a place of resource, because when you ask from a place of scarcity or you’re feeling lack, then your partner picks up on that. That angst and that that feeling of frustration. And it’s just a hard platform to start from.
Once you find your inner light and you own that, you do have an inner light, that you’re responsible for your inner light. And once you come to relationship on, on that basis, then you can go and and request from a place of resource and a place of giving because you can’t expect them to give you something that you aren’t able to recognize. Or ld appreciate
Looking at Polarity
One of the ways to get started, understanding ourselves better is to pay attention to the way we self-talk. A bit more kindness to ourselves because sometimes that’s an ingredient that’s incredibly lacking. Julie shares her thoughts about how people should look at polarity in their lives.
We cannot continue to exist in a world of absolutes. because that’s not, that’s not who we are. We’re everything. We’re good and we’re bad. We’re messy, and we’re clean. And, and as soon as we accept that in ourselves and embrace that whole gamut of, of who we are as a person and accept and love even the messy parts of ourselves, the sooner we can show compassion for ourselves.
It opens up a, it opens up a dialogue, it opens up a healing when you can say from your heart, Hey, this is where I am and I’m just gonna accept it. I’m not gonna label it. I’m not weak, I’m not strong, I’m not fat. I’m not skinny.
it’s not to beat yourself up, it’s just to accept, hey, this is human nature. Like our brains try to make everything simple, that our brains are constantly trying to protect us and make sure we can get to. Fastest answer and the easiest possibility, but that’s not always the best for our joy. Our best for our joy is to connect to what’s really happening and accept it. Just be there with it.
Calling on the Angels
Julie shares on how she calls on the Angles every day.
I say, please show me the highest expression of this day. And then something recently I’ve added. Thank you for the obstacles that have been presented. I release them. They no longer serve me. I learned from them. I had my lesson. Now I, I release that back because you’re right. It’s opportunities. It’s opportunities to grow, to grow and ascend. So just because something’s not perfect doesn’t mean it can’t be a perfect moment.
Conflict Decision Making Tree
Below is a chart that Julie shared with us regarding the Conflict Resolution Decision Tree. To learn more about how this works, check out her book – Life of Love or listen to the episode.