Author: Ansh Bahri

Communicating Relationship Boundaries with Brenden Kumarasamy

Ansh Bahri

Communicating Relationship Boundaries with Brenden Kumarasamy – Love Vitamins for Life

In our latest episode with Brenden Kumarasamy, communication expert and the founder of MasterTalk, shares some tips on topics like Setting boundaries in a relationship Healthy communication practices Establishing a shared vision in your relationship Boundary setting in your relationships Set clear and healthy boundaries Specificity is the key to boundary setting. Writing them out helps. Make it fun Start easy and start with something small. If you can’t argue about the small things, forget about arguing about the big things. Celebrate and reciprocate Ping pong on boundary setting with your partner. How do being an effective speaker skills help you build healthier relationships? The key is, that it doesn’t matter what you say, as much as HOW you say it. Use Relationship Visioning, as a Framework to define what you want the relationship to be. Use Relationship Selection to ask all the hard questions upfront. Make a list of every quality you want in someone else. Look at the list and become that person. The key is to try and be the best version of that person and if you are true to it you’ll attract such people to you. LoVita – Love Vitamins for a healthier is a community by Partners for Partners. We share stories about how Partners are working intentionally towards building a healthier relationship. To learn more check out the links below 🔗 All below links in a single page  – https://linktr.ee/lovitalovevitamins Website – https://lovita.blog/ Newsletter – https://mailchi.mp/81f58463e76b/subscribe Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/lovitalovevitamins/ Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/lovitalovevitamins Connect with Brenden Kumarasamy MasterTalk Website – https://www.mastertalk.ca FREE Live Training –  https://www.rockstarcommunicator.com YouTube – https://www.youtube.com/c/MasterTalks Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/masteryourtalk Email – brendenkbusiness@gmail.com

In our latest episode with Brenden Kumarasamy, communication expert and the founder of MasterTalk, shares some tips on topics like

  • Setting boundaries in a relationship
  • Healthy communication practices
  • Establishing a shared vision in your relationship

Boundary setting in your relationships

  1. Set clear and healthy boundaries
    Specificity is the key to boundary setting. Writing them out helps.
  2. Make it fun
    Start easy and start with something small. If you can’t argue about the small things, forget about arguing about the big things.
  3. Celebrate and reciprocate
    Ping pong on boundary setting with your partner.

How do being an effective speaker skills help you build healthier relationships? The key is, that it doesn’t matter what you say, as much as HOW you say it.

Use Relationship Visioning, as a Framework to define what you want the relationship to be. Use Relationship Selection to ask all the hard questions upfront.

Make a list of every quality you want in someone else. Look at the list and become that person. The key is to try and be the best version of that person and if you are true to it you’ll attract such people to you.

Skip the Beat – Wue Wei

Ansh Bahri

Creating a powerful group dynamic with a Courage Circle with Sandy Stream – Love Vitamins for Life

In this captivating conversation with Sandy Stream, we've explored the transformative power of self-love and respectful listening. Her journey from seeking inner peace to facilitating courage circles highlights the profound impact of creating safe spaces for authentic expression and connection. By embarking on our own self-discovery journeys and embracing respectful relationships, we can cultivate a world where love flows freely, nurturing the growth of both individuals and communities. If you enjoyed listening to this episode (or the podcast), please share your diagnosis with someone you love. Small doses over time is how you grow the love. The best gift you can give us is positive feedback and your observations. Follow us wherever you are listening and do us a favor by adding a Review on Apple Podcast. LoVita – Love Vitamins for Life is a community that believes love is a daily act and Love Vitamins are how we strengthen the love. Each individual brings a story, perspective and practice on how to learn, play, and grow in love. We share stories on how love shows up in your life in a digestible format. To learn more check out the links below 🔗 ⁠LoVita Blog⁠ for Frameworks, Love Doses and more Sign up for our monthly ⁠Newsletter⁠ for exclusive content We're also on Social media – ⁠Instagram⁠, ⁠Facebook⁠, TikTok Connect with our Guests Website: thecouragecircle.com Telegram: TheCourageCircle Book: The Courage Circle

Situation

Your partner has decided to make some significant changes in their lifestyle, and are determined to work out more regularly. You are very excited and want to help out any way you can. The next day, they come across an ad for a new peloton bike and end up making an impulse purchase.

Dissection by Raashi

As the partner that’s receiving and watching this interaction unfold it is really easy to start pointing out that “you do this all the time, you start a new goal, a new trend or something like that. And then you just go out and you spend all this money. And a few months later, nothing actually has changed.” It’s very, very easy to launch into that kind of conversation, and have that kind of a reaction. Because your intentions are good, you don’t want to see your partner making the same mistakes again and again, and you do want to be supportive, you think by helping them see the error in their ways or correct them before they do something wrong, you’re going to be actually helping them succeed with this new goal or this new hobby. Now, while the intention is good, how we go about supporting someone is normally where our growth lies.

Brene Brown says “you cannot shame or belittle people into changing their behaviors.” So when your partner comes in, share something with you, even if it’s something as dramatic as a Peloton purchase to support this new goal that they have. In that moment, when they’re sharing with you, that’s a bid for connection. They’re filled with joy and excitement. And they’re trying to find a way to succeed with this new goal that they have. This isn’t the time for you to tell them that you’ve seen this pattern before, that you don’t understand why they had to buy something in order to be able to successful with this particular goal. It’s an important conversation to have, and you will make space for it. In this moment, what’s more important to do is to use the framework of Yes, And, their joy, and get curious about what their plan is to stick with their goal and how this Peloton purchase fits into it.

When we get curious, we learn more about what they are intending to do. And you’re gathering information for this conversation that you want to have a little bit later about how you feel about impulse purchases, especially when you’re starting out on a new goal or a new hobby. And the fact that you might be seeing a pattern repeating. So in the end, no matter how right, you might feel that this is something that you really want to point out and talk to your partner about the moment that someone shares something that is bringing them joy, all that’s important for you to do is to celebrate with your partner, and let them make their own choices, which includes sometimes what you might label as a mistake, and to show up with and to really show up to them having this experience without critiquing them first.

Build with Love with Juan Lee

Ansh Bahri

Build with Love with Juan Lee – Love Vitamins for Life

“Until you can know yourself, you don’t know what you have to offer. Till you know what you have to offer, nobody else knows what you have to offer.” – Juan Lee on his teachings on love. In this special episode with Juan Lee, we learn about how Juan and Tracy do to build a healthier relationship. Some of the topics we talk about Build together Identifying and working with your partner's strength. Open communication Vulnerability We talk about Building together – relationships get built together collectively over time. It's a daily effort to bring something to the table and bring our own strengths individually to the table. Recognizing what your partner's abilities are at work. LoVita – Love Vitamins for a healthier is a community by Partners for Partners. We share stories about how Partners are working intentionally towards building a healthier relationship. To learn more check out the links below 🔗 All below links in a single page – https://linktr.ee/lovitalovevitamins Website – https://lovita.blog/ Newsletter – https://mailchi.mp/81f58463e76b/subscribe Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/lovitalovevitamins/ Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/lovitalovevitamins Juan Lee is an author and teacher on the powerful principle of love. For over 30 years, he has studied organized religion to find the elements that unite humanity and share the message with those who need it. Based outside of Washington DC, Juan is a decorated US Air Force veteran and author of Love Made Simple. To connect with Juan Lee Book – https://amzn.to/3PhWP3q Website – https://juanleetheauthor.com/ Clear Journey – https://clearjourney.org/ Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/juanleeauthor/ Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/juanleeauthor Twitter – https://twitter.com/LoveMadeSimple LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/juan-lee-the-author/

Guest appearance by Juan Lee is the author of the book Love Made Simple a Guide to Inner Peace, Contentment and Success. Wan is also the founder of clearjourny.org, a charity organization with a mission to share the practical application of love with the world.

Below are some snippets from the episode. Enjoy!

We have learned so much, not only about ourselves, but each other. And at that time, we had to realize that we were putting something together, we were building something.

A good point that you made there, because I believe that people don’t realize that that’s exactly what we’re trying to do accomplish more together than we could possibly ever accomplish individually. And to know that, I think, is critical in building a real strong relationship is because it has those strengths that each of you have or each of us have. We’re able to do much more with the two of us having strengths, and in many cases, being able to offset each other’s weaknesses, in many cases, the other person’s strengths.

It’s real easy to put that example of maybe building the house together, but you’ve got to know what each other’s components are, what they’re bringing to the table. In any given relationship, people are going to have different components. And recognizing what your spouse’s or your partner’s relationship or abilities are is the work, to be honest with you, is the work. Because it’s something that I talk about in what I teach on love, is that until you can know yourself, you don’t know what you have to offer. And it’s till you know what you have to offer, nobody else knows what you have to offer. And so it’s that ability to be able to articulate that to one another so that when you enter into the relationship, you know exactly what it is they’re bringing.

If you’re looking for a plumber and you get electrician, that’s not going to help you in building your house. Maybe you got electrician, but you’re looking for a plumber right now, you need a plumber. And so it’s not that electrician is not needed, but maybe you all collectively know you need to go out and get electrician, but I need a plumber. That’s what I’m looking for. I want a plumber. And so that’s what basically the challenges is the work is that process of understanding what each other’s skill sets are, what their abilities are that they’re going to bring to the table so that we can build this relationship into something that’s different from us as an individual.

One of the things let’s go back. I’m going to share something with you. I did not think I was ever going to get married. Okay? I never thought I was going to get married because I had low self esteem. I didn’t have anything that would really identify who I was. My strengths now, as it relates to marriage now, because at that point, I had gone to the military, had come back, I had found out who I was, so to speak. But then I didn’t see myself as marriage material, so to speak. One of the things that I did was something that I did not very it wasn’t something very easy for me to do, and that was to articulate my learning disability. I spent many years trying to hide that, and it was when I realized and even when we got married, I realized that I could not hide this from her. And so I was very forthcoming with that information. It was like if we’re going to get into this, what you see and who I am is two totally different things. And I think many of us enter into relationships with a mask on and it takes for us to be able to pull that mass down and to allow the other person to see exactly who they are. And many times that doesn’t always happen. It comes out piece by piece as it pertains to challenges that come up in the relationship that you end up getting into some types of conflict and you really don’t even know that the conflict is something that you have no conscious knowledge of. It’s something that the other one is holding on to because they’re trying to hide it or present something that’s really not the case. But that was one of the things that I had to. And even in that process though, she was the one who helped me. And this is very ironic because she helped me find out and identify my learning disability. Because when we got married, I had a learning disability but it was not diagnosed. It wasn’t diagnosed. We got married when I was 33. It wasn’t diagnosed until I was 37. Wow. But I had been challenged, I had been struggling with not knowing, figuring out how to maneuver, not knowing that I had one. And she was the one and helped me, the one that helped me identify what it was that I was dealing with. And it really liberated me to a point where it began to allow me to see that it wasn’t something that I was not doing. It’s now something that I have to deal with and I know how to address.

You just hit one of the critical words in relationship and that’s ability to be vulnerable. That ability to be vulnerable will eliminate so many areas of conflict, at least on those things that you have knowledge of because you know them. See, there’s things that you don’t know that you don’t know it, but then there are these things that you know that you’re not sharing and those are the ones that you could be vulnerable and sharing those things that you know that will allow for a smoother process.

Skip the Beat – Parasocial Relationships

Ansh Bahri

Skip the Beat – Parasocial Relationships – Love Vitamins for Life

Parasocial Relationship – We talk about how to be intentional in your date nights. To build a healthier relationship here are the two takeaways from the episode. 1️⃣ Manage your emotions first. 2️⃣ First, reflect on what is it that would create an intentional date night for you. Sign up to the newsletter and follow us on social media for exclusive content. https://linktr.ee/lovitalovevitamins

Situation

You and your partner are great at doing the chores of the day, taking care of all the errands, the laundry, the dishes, the cooking; you’re an amazing team, when it comes to kids, you are happy. It’s a healthy and happy household. Recently, you listen to the last episode of LoVita. Since then, you’ve been wanting a more intimate and more personal emotional connection with your partner. So you set up a date night, you book a reservation at your fancy nearby restaurant, you make it clear to your partner that you want this to be special and special in a way that there’s no distractions, no cell phones, no talk about kids, no talk about the things and tasks that might be coming up on your to do list. You want this to be a conversation between you and your partner. Like it might have been your first day where you’re talking about your dreams and stuff. But five minutes into the dinner, you realize that it’s not going the way you wanted it to. There’s a lot of distractions from the restaurant, your partner is not giving you the same response that you expected

Dissection by Raashi

So I feel like two separate thoughts come to mind.

The first I would say is that the origin of this problem started a while ago. And this lack of engagement that you’re feeling at your date night is really just a symptom of a much larger problem.

The second thing is that, you know, if you’re if you’ve already tried in the moment fixes like asking your partner to maybe put away their phone or you know, bringing up a conversation topic, but you see that it kind of fizzles out or you’re asking questions, you’re trying to dive deeper, but you’re getting one word responses.

Like if you’ve already done the work of asking your partner to be present, and they just aren’t. At this point, I would personally suggest that the healthier choice for you as an individual is to find some way to make this evening enjoyable for you, regardless of how your partner is showing up. And no, I don’t mean by be by being mean to them, or ignoring them or just feeling deflated, that you’re never going to have another fun date night ever again. What I mean is find a way to preserve your peace, and enjoy this evening so that you can then have the energy to be intentional when you get home, or over the next few days to really be able to dissect and dive deep on why were you not able to create that emotional connection at your date night.

It takes two to tango, right. And so even though your partner isn’t showing up for you as you’d like, you’re in charge of how this evening ends for you. And how you’re able to process this moment when you get home later that evening, or maybe over the next few days.

Now that first point that I mentioned, when it comes to the we and enjoying date night as a couple, well the secret tends to lie in communicating individual values, and then cultivating shared values. That’s normally where we see this disconnection really starting from is not having taken the time to step away from that daily grind, and really talk about what is actually going on. What is this feeling of, of missed connection, this lack of emotional connect that we’re feeling with our partner? And how do we want to address it? Or maybe why why is so important for us to begin with.

So my recommendation is over the next few conscious coupling sessions that you have, it’s important for you to intentionally share and discuss what your expectations are for date night. And what does it mean to show up emotionally, to have this conversation to be distraction free. And when you create a safe space to have this kind of a conversation and really share and listen to the different desires that you and your partner have. You can start to create a set of shared values. And that’s what’s going to help you to both show up to date night and be on the same page of what it means to not talk about the kids or worry about the next thing that needs to be taken care of the power of doing this work and crafting shared values before your next date night is how you both can work towards building a healthier relationship and having more meaningful evenings together, rather than just going through experiences of missed connection.