Arguments – LoVita

Live your Internal Truth with Amanda Kate – Love Vitamins for Relationships

Amanda shared with us her story about the troubles and challenges she had in her life. How she was able to use Kinesiology to understand all these layers and get out of an unhealthy relationship. Her journey of self discovery helped her explore other relationships. She shares a funny and insightful story about how she used Tinder, as a tool, to find what kinds of energy she was attracting and her journey of how she met her current partner. A couple things she mentioned that she realized what she was intentionally looking in her partner and the relationship was were Reciprocal relationships Somebody who was able to hold space Amanda knew what she wanted and the universe was waiting for her to identify that within herself before those people could be highlighted for her from the universe as a gift. It was bound to happen. One of her messages that I really loved – “I was really conscious of finding in that reflection what was left unhealed in me because I knew that when I went into my next relationship, I did not want it to be the same. I did not want to be the kind of empath who naturally attracts another narcissist. I didn't wanna be that flame for the moths.” If you enjoyed listening to this episode (or the podcast), please share your diagnosis with 1 close relationship or anyone else who would enjoy listening to this as well. The best gift you can give us is positive feedback and your observations. Follow us wherever you are listening and do us a favor by adding a Review on Apple Podcast. LoVita – Love Vitamins for a healthier is a community by Partners for Partners. We share stories about how Partners are working intentionally towards building a healthier relationship. To learn more check out the links below 🔗 LoVita Blog for Frameworks Sign up for our monthly Newsletter for exclusive content We're also on Social media – Instagram, Facebook, All above links in a single page Connect with Amanda Kate Website: amandakate.com.au Book: DIVINE. MESSY. HUMAN. Instagram: amanda__kate Facebook: amandakatetransformation — Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lovitalovevitamins/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lovitalovevitamins/support

Amanda Kate, the author of Divine Messy Human, A Spiritual Guide to Prioritizing Internal Truth Over External Influence is a kinesiologist. She’s an archetypal life coach, a mentor, a mother, partner, dog, mom, all of those things and lives in Melbourne, Australia.

Kinesiology for building healthier relationships

Reciprocal relationships
Somebody who was able to hold space

Amanda knew what she wanted and the universe was waiting for her to identify that within herself before those people could be highlighted for her from the universe as a gift. It was bound to happen. One of her messages that I really loved –

I was really conscious of, finding in that reflection what was left unhealed in me because I knew that when I went into my next relationship, I did not want it to be the same. I did not want to be the kind of empath who naturally attracts another narcissist. I didn’t wanna be that flame for the moths.

Wrap up arguments

Amanda mentioned that one of the things that she and her partner bring in intentionality in their relationship is that they wrap up arguments.

We wrap it up. We make up at the end. We have connection at the end, and we don’t have to understand each other. He’s a completely different person to me, we don’t need to understand. And the thing that I, that grates on me about understand anyway, if you are standing under somebody, you are submitting to their authority. And we are equals in our relationship. So I don’t need to understand him. I love when I comprehend him. I love it when I can accept him for everything, but because we’re also aware of our own shortcomings, we will often apologize to each other just for being snarky.

At home exercises

Some tools, conversations, techniques recommended by Amanda from her coaching sessions that people at home can leverage to get started on their journey of exploration. Amanda says a lot of the exploration is asking questions and being curious and recommends one exercise that she practices herself.

So one of the things I do is say, I dunno. I get into an argument with my partner and I’ve done this in real time. I’ll be like, oh, this doesn’t feel like it’s our stuff. And so I just check in, is this mine? Is this his? Now, if I get a mine, I then go, okay, how old am I now? And an age will pop into my. So let’s use 28, cuz that’s one of those pivotal ages in my life. I was a new mom living overseas, away from my family. I’d been, pregnant with my first child with basically no support. Having my first child with no support and really, really struggled. I was not feeling seen, I was not feeling hurt, I was not feeling understood. So I can go, okay, 28, and I know all that stuff off the top of my head now, and I’m like, okay, so how does that relate to now, it’s actually nothing to do with him. It’s because I’m not feeling seen or I don’t feel like he’s hearing me, and I can say to him, whoa, hang on. This argument isn’t about what I’m making it about. This is actually why and so I’m almost coaching myself in that moment. Now I do not do that every argument by the way. It just hands up cuz I’m human . That’s the mess human part. But I have done it before and you know what? He’s never once said, no, let’s continue with the argument. Let’s forget about that .It just doesn’t happen. He’s more than happy to backtrack and go, you know, it’s basically me putting up my hand going, this is, this is all me. I’m sorry.

Final words

Amanda says, trust yourself.

I think it’s really about trusting yourself in this, because let’s face it, if we’re in a less than ideal relationship and we start going, oh, is this the person I should be with? We’ve all known the answer. Often. We’re just too afraid to act on it.