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Creating a Shared Relationship Vision with your Partner using Deal Breaker Questions

Ansh BahriLeave a comment

Creating a Shared Relationship Vision with your Partner using Deal Breaker Questions – Love Vitamins for Life

In this episode, we bring to you a quick and easy free at home date night idea called creating a Shared Relationship Vision. It doesn't matter if you're just starting your relationship or you've been together for several years, it's never too early or too late to sit down with your partner and talk about what you aspire from your relationship. This is why we came up with a list of deal breaker questions. By taking the time to go through these questions, you can create a Relationship Vision that you and your partner are willing to invest in. List of deal breaker questions: https://tinyurl.com/lovita1 Takeaways 1️⃣ We believe that a discussion around a Shared Relationship Vision should be a recurring exercise, perhaps even a Tradition. People and their priorities change over time. This exercise can keep partners in alignment. 2️⃣ Just because you and your partner share different perspectives doesn't mean that you are not on the same page. This activity is all about helping you understand your similarities and differences, and if and whether you want to invest your time in addressing those gaps and remember. Remember – It's okay to disagree. Our inspiration for the activity was from our previous conversations with Brendan Kumarasamy, a communication expert and Victoria Raider, a possibility coach on their take on the value of working towards a Relationship Visions. Links below 🔗 https://lovita.blog/2022/11/11/unleash-prosperity-in-your-relationship-with-victoria-rader-a-possibility-coach/ https://lovita.blog/2022/08/29/communicating-relationship-boundaries-with-brenden-kumarasamy/ LoVita – Love Vitamins for a healthier is a community by Partners for Partners. We share stories about how Partners are working intentionally toward building a healthier relationship. To learn more check out the links below 🔗 All below links in a single page – https://linktr.ee/lovitalovevitamins Website – https://lovita.blog Newsletter – https://mailchi.mp/81f58463e76b/subscribe Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/lovitalovevitamins Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/lovitalovevitamins

Shared Relationship Vision

Today, we are sharing a quick and easy free at home date night idea called creating a Shared Relationship Vision.

It doesn’t matter if you’re just starting your relationship or you’ve been together for several years, it’s never too early or too late to sit down with your partner and talk about what you aspire from your relationship. This is why we came up with a list of deal breaker questions. By taking the time to go through these questions, you can create a Relationship Vision that you and your partner are willing to invest in.

Intention

This concept of a shared relationship vision has come up again and again as we interviewed relationship coaches and experts for our podcast. In our conversation with Brendan Kumarasamy, a communication expert, he brought up the concept of a shared Relationship Vision as a way to get on the same page. When we talked with Victoria Raider, a possibility coach, she brought up the concept of establishing a Shared Relationship Vision as a way to either find your soulmate or save yourself years of misery. We thought let’s be explicit about this and practice it for ourselves.

Things you need

📝 A list of Deal Breaker Questions. (Some sample questions available on Framework Relationship Vision. You can a complete list for free that we used)
🤫 A private and quiet space to have a conversation with your partner

Rules

Take a few moments to look over the list of questions you gathered and collect your thoughts. Then go ahead and set the space and environment for the conversation. Remove any distractions like cell phones. If you have pets or kids make sure that they are entertained so you don’t get interrupted.

Feel free to break up the questions into parts or segments . So you can take breaks in between as well.

Our Discussion

Listen to the episode for our conversation around the below topics

  1. What do you consider cheating? In the context of a relationship
  2. Do you have my back no matter what?

Takeaways

1️⃣ We believe that a discussion around a Shared Relationship Vision should be a recurring exercise, perhaps even a Tradition. People and their priorities change over time. This exercise can keep partners in alignment.

2️⃣ Just because you and your partner share different perspectives doesn’t mean that you are not on the same page. This activity is all about helping you understand your similarities and differences, and if and whether you want to invest your time in addressing those gaps and remember. Remember – It’s okay to disagree.

Experiment with a few different Deal Breaker Questions that suite your relationship. Let us know what you think about the date night activity in the comments below and share your story.

Advancing and Expanding the day with your partner for a fun and quick date night idea to build healthy relationships

Ansh Bahri

Advancing and Expanding the day with your partner for a fun and quick date night idea – Love Vitamins for Life

In this episode, we talk about a fun and gamified way to share among partners more about each other's day. Here's how the activity works 🙋‍♀️ One of the partner is the Storyteller. Your role is to start by sharing more about how you spent the day. When you hear EXPAND, stay on the event you just mentioned and give details. Continue giving details until you hear ADVANCE, after which you move on to the next event of the day. Continue for 2 minutes. 🧟‍♀️ The other partner is the Listener. With the power to use only two keywords "Advance" and "Expand". Say EXPAND to have the Storyteller share more details about what they just mentioned. Say ADVANCE to move ahead to the next event of the day. 🔀 Switch roles. Play daily or when needed. Increase time as you see fit. Takeaways Find a time-bound way to share about your day with your partner while sharing the responsibility of storytelling Find opportunities in your day to savor the small moments that can easily slip away Give your partner the control to be curious and learn more about your day – encouraging them to use the keyword Expand to dive into more details Our inspiration for the activity was from an Improv exercise called Advance and Expand, used to explore environments in more detail. LoVita – Love Vitamins for a healthier is a community by Partners for Partners. We share stories about how Partners are working intentionally toward building a healthier relationship. To learn more check out the links below 🔗 All below links in a single page  – https://linktr.ee/lovitalovevitamins Website – https://lovita.blog Newsletter – https://mailchi.mp/81f58463e76b/subscribe Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/lovitalovevitamins Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/lovitalovevitamins

Have you ever been in a situation when you ask your partner about their day and all you get in response is “it’s been the same” or “fine”. How about if we tell you that you can gamify this mundane question of “how was your day honey” to make it more fun. It’s an activity we call “Advancing and Expanding” and all it takes to play is 5 minutes with your partner and their attention.

When given a time constraint, an Advancer is someone who likes to rush through the events to get to the end of their story whereas an Expander is someone who is comfortable to dwell in the details and having an incomplete story. Find out whether you are an Advancer, Expander or somewhere in between?

How does this help? It helps build a more meaningful bond between partners and a healthier, every single day. We’ll explain more but let’s first play.

Activity

A fun and gamified way to share among partners more about each other’s day. Here’s how the activity works

🙋‍♀️ One of the partner is the Storyteller. Your role is to start by sharing more about how you spent the day. When you hear EXPAND, stay on the event you just mentioned and give details. Continue giving details until you hear ADVANCE, after which you move on to the next event of the day. Continue for 2 minutes.

🧟‍♀️ The other partner is the Listener. With the power to use only two keywords “Advance” and “Expand”. Say EXPAND to have the Storyteller share more details about what they just mentioned. Say ADVANCE to move ahead to the next event of the day.

🔀 Switch roles. Play daily or when needed. Increase time as you see fit.

This game has the most impact when you’ve spent the day away from each other. That makes sure the two stories shared are different and have more room to explore.

Listen to our example in the podcast episode using the links above OR check out the super cute reel on our Instagram account.

Takeaways

  1. Find a time-bound way to share about your day with your partner while sharing the responsibility of storytelling
  2. Find opportunities in your day to savor the small moments that can easily slip away
  3. Give your partner the control to be curious and learn more about your day – encouraging them to use the keyword Expand to dive into more details

Inspiration

Our activity was inspired by an Improv exercise, which is used to explore environments in more details. You can learn more about the Advance and Expand from this improwiki link.

Skip the Beat – Ndini – Self Identity in Relationships

Ansh Bahri

Skip the Beat – Ndini – Self Identity in Relationships – Love Vitamins for Life

In this episode, of "Skip the Beat", we talk about Self Identity in a relationship The balance between Sharing vs Controlling Setting healthy boundaries in your relationship Takeaways How others see us is crucial for our self-identity; start by understanding your beliefs and then share what you learn and know. Remain adaptable; acknowledge that your identity is malleable and that conflicts aren’t bad – just opportunities for curiosity and growth. Regardless of how you are received when you share your truth, stand by your boundaries Before you can share with your partner what you want, there is a lot of self-identity work that is needed to be done to answer how you are and who you want to be. Doing identity work, we start to realize that identity as a concept is quite malleable, it’s quite fluid. Looking at it in terms of “this or that” is very reductionist. Identity is more of an amalgamation or a culmination of different moving parts. To discover the fine balance of how much and when to share in a new relationships Digest and discern what are the important things to share Start to build a foundation of mutual respect and understanding by sharing in small doses and using curiosity to ask questions Start with – Sit with yourself, and identity, what are those non-negotiable boundaries within you? What are the things that you don’t know you can’t function without? Navigating the fine line between controlling and letting go can be tricky. We often feel like we have to give something to get something. By transforming our ORs into ANDs, we can change this negotiation in our favor. Start having these conversations with yourself, to understand where our boundaries start and when it gets to sacrifice. To build a healthy partnership, work on laying down the foundation for your relationship so difficult conversations don’t have to be hard ones and can be everyday, honest and real conversation. Building a healthy relationship requires hard work and being intentional about normalizing such difficult conversations. LoVita – Love Vitamins for a healthier is a community by Partners for Partners. We share stories about how Partners are working intentionally toward building a healthier relationship. To learn more check out the links below 🔗 All below links in a single page  – https://linktr.ee/lovitalovevitamins Website – https://lovita.blog Newsletter – https://mailchi.mp/81f58463e76b/subscribe Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/lovitalovevitamins Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/lovitalovevitamins

Inspiration
A word from the Shona language in Zimbabwe, Ndini, that translates to “this is me” in English.

Themes

  • Self Identity in a relationship
  • Balance between Sharing vs Controlling
  • Setting boundaries

Takeaways

  • How others see us is crucial for our self-identity; start by understanding your beliefs and then share what you learn and know.
  • Remain adaptable; acknowledge that your identity is malleable and that conflicts aren’t bad – just opportunities for curiosity and growth.
  • Regardless of how you are received when you share your truth, stand by your boundaries 

Discussion

Before you can share with your partner what you want, there is a lot of self-identity work that is needed to be done to answer how you are and who you want to be.

Doing identity work, we start to realize that identity as a concept is quite malleable, it’s quite fluid. Looking at it in terms of “this or that” is very reductionist. Identity is more of an amalgamation or a culmination of different moving parts.

To discover the fine balance of how much and when to share in a new relationships

  1. Digest and discern what are the important things to share
  2. Start to build a foundation of mutual respect and understanding by sharing in small doses and using curiosity to ask questions

Start with – Sit with yourself, and identity, what are those non-negotiable boundaries within you? What are the things that you don’t know you can’t function without?

Navigating the fine line between controlling and letting go can be tricky. We often feel like we have to give something to get something. By transforming our ORs into ANDs, we can change this negotiation in our favor. Start having these conversations with yourself, to understand where our boundaries start and when it gets to sacrifice.

To build a healthy partnership, work on laying down the foundation for your relationship so difficult conversations don’t have to be hard ones and can be everyday, honest and real conversation. Building a healthy relationship requires hard work and being intentional about normalizing such difficult conversations.