An intimate relationship is like a mirror – with Zach Beach – Love Vitamins for Relationships
Zach Beach, MA, is committed to building a world based on unconditional love and connection. He does that as an relationship coach, yoga and meditation teacher, poet writer, podcast host, and as the founder of The Heart Center love school.
Best-selling author of The Seven Lessons of Love and three poetry collections, Zach regularly leads transformational retreats, workshops, and teacher trainings around the world.
4 Brahma-Viharas or 4 Noble Qualities
Zach shares one of the best conceptualizations that he’s had for love comes from Buddhist psychology, know as the 4 Brahma Viharas
- Loving kindness
- Sympathetic joy
He adds, “they all stem from a very basic idea that love is a genuine concern for another person’s wellbeing. It doesn’t require anything in return. It’s not a conditional love. It’s an unconditional love that we can extend to all people. And I think that. Understanding is just a really nice foundation that allows us to express our love to people that we might not be in an intimate partnership with.”
Value of Relationships
Zach shares, how in today’s individualistic world, there is a very strong habit of blaming societal failures on individual people. This causes a lot of us to be tempted to think that there are things that we need to do by ourselves, on our own to solve our own problems. He adds, “We grew in relationship, we are wounded in relationship, and we will be healed in relationship. And we all need to be seen and recognized and understood and loved for who we are and to feel a sense of belonging and connection. So I have a huge, Belief that the most and best container for our own healing and growth is relationship, and particularly an intimate relationship.”
He says, that an intimate relationship is like a lovely mirror that helps us heal and grow, from the stuff that continues to come up in relationships – “Intimate relationships can be mirrors both of our own stuff, that we get to work through, but also reflecting back the goodness that we are.”
The best thing that you can do for, for your partner is work on yourself. The best thing that your partner can do for you is work on themselves.
Yoga – Emotions are passing through
Zach defines yoga as a practice where every day you get to set the intention to open the heart, to clear the mind, and to be present in this body. Listen to the full episode for more on how you can let emotions pass through your body with Yoga and what Zach says about how you can find the mysteries of your own heart.
Digging deep within yourself – Identifying patterns of pain and suffering
Zach shares about how when people are not living in line with their purpose, they are “doing two things. One, they’re holding on for dear life at the banks of the river, or two, they’re swimming upstream.” He adds, “The stars had written a message for you when you were born, and it’s up to you to discover what that is. And what I mean by that is life has a natural, beautiful unfolding that is happening, and it’s like a flow of a river.”
The people swimming up the stream are the ones who need to reorient themselves. Really be mindful about – is this serving me or is this not? When you find the answer is “no”, then you go for a walk in nature and figure out that – okay, this is helping me. Zach emphasizes on this – path of from disease to ease, from effort to comfortability. And then when you finally turn around and you let the river take you, life just unfolds before you with no effort at all.
Now he mentions this might work for some but not for others. So the other way is to look deep into the nature of suffering. What is it that is causing you pain and asking yourself if it is the external world or the internal? This is something that happens all the time in relationships where we get the much wonderful fertile growth and challenges to look at and to see where it is that we are most attached