Skip the Beat

Skip the Beat – Wabi Sabi – Embracing Imperfection in Relationships

Ansh Bahri

Skip the Beat – Wabi Sabi – Embracing Imperfection in Relationships – Love Vitamins for Life

In this episode, of "Skip the Beat", we talk about Embracing Imperfection in Relationships Great Relationships are not born, they are made Takeaways Lead with honesty; true emotions always find a way to leak Find your peace with imperfections; lead with curiosity so you can take a second look at things you might automatically dismiss Give yourself and your partner permission to be imperfect without sweeping into quick judgment We talk about emotional leakage in your relationships. How best to manage this and communicate with our partners? The best way to dig deep into our anxieties and our needs for having everything “perfect” is to lead with curiosity. We talk about the middle path between the extremes of lying to keep your partner happy or being honest and possibly hurting your partner. Things are rarely perfect, and that’s exactly what makes them perfect in relationships. Learn more on how to find the perfect moments, acceptance in imperfection, and appreciate these moments to find joy and happiness. This will help your partnership develop the capacity to hold the space so that your partner can flourish in all the ways they have desired outside of judgment. Set yourself free of the concepts of duality like, right or wrong. Dig deeper into layers to find what it is that brings us joy and happiness in our relationship. To live fully and abundantly is the most beautiful opportunity that life provides. Work on creating a partnership, to encourage and empower each other to explore and wonder without judgment. Remember, you are perfect in every imperfect moment and so is your partner. And when you find something imperfect, seek out the perfect moment to communicate and share with your partner your feelings. LoVita – Love Vitamins for a healthier is a community by Partners for Partners. We share stories about how Partners are working intentionally toward building a healthier relationship. To learn more check out the links below 🔗 All below links in a single page  – https://linktr.ee/lovitalovevitamins Website – https://lovita.blog Newsletter – https://mailchi.mp/81f58463e76b/subscribe Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/lovitalovevitamins Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/lovitalovevitamins

Inspiration
Wabi Sabi is the view or thought of finding beauty in every aspect of imperfection in nature.

Themes

  • Embracing Imperfection in Relationships
  • Great Relationships are not born, they are made

Takeaways

  • Lead with honesty; true emotions always find a way to leak
  • Find your peace with imperfections; lead with curiosity so you can take a second look at things you might automatically dismiss
  • Give yourself and your partner permission to be imperfect without sweeping into quick judgment

Discussion

We talk about emotional leakage in your relationships. How best to manage this and communicate with our partners? The best way to dig deep into our anxieties and our needs for having everything “perfect” is to lead with curiosity.

We talk about the middle path between the extremes of lying to keep your partner happy or being honest and possibly hurting your partner.

Things are rarely perfect, and that’s exactly what makes them perfect in relationships. Learn more on how to find the perfect moments, acceptance in imperfection, and appreciate these moments to find joy and happiness.

This will help your partnership develop the capacity to hold the space so that your partner can flourish in all the ways they have desired outside of judgment. Set yourself free of the concepts of duality like, right or wrong. Dig deeper into layers to find what it is that brings us joy and happiness in our relationship.

To live fully and abundantly is the most beautiful opportunity that life provides. Work on creating a partnership, to encourage and empower each other to explore and wonder without judgment.

Remember, you are perfect in every imperfect moment and so is your partner. And when you find something imperfect, seek out the perfect moment to communicate and share with your partner your feelings.

Skip the Beat – Ndini – Self Identity in Relationships

Ansh Bahri

Skip the Beat – Ndini – Self Identity in Relationships – Love Vitamins for Life

In this episode, of "Skip the Beat", we talk about Self Identity in a relationship The balance between Sharing vs Controlling Setting healthy boundaries in your relationship Takeaways How others see us is crucial for our self-identity; start by understanding your beliefs and then share what you learn and know. Remain adaptable; acknowledge that your identity is malleable and that conflicts aren’t bad – just opportunities for curiosity and growth. Regardless of how you are received when you share your truth, stand by your boundaries Before you can share with your partner what you want, there is a lot of self-identity work that is needed to be done to answer how you are and who you want to be. Doing identity work, we start to realize that identity as a concept is quite malleable, it’s quite fluid. Looking at it in terms of “this or that” is very reductionist. Identity is more of an amalgamation or a culmination of different moving parts. To discover the fine balance of how much and when to share in a new relationships Digest and discern what are the important things to share Start to build a foundation of mutual respect and understanding by sharing in small doses and using curiosity to ask questions Start with – Sit with yourself, and identity, what are those non-negotiable boundaries within you? What are the things that you don’t know you can’t function without? Navigating the fine line between controlling and letting go can be tricky. We often feel like we have to give something to get something. By transforming our ORs into ANDs, we can change this negotiation in our favor. Start having these conversations with yourself, to understand where our boundaries start and when it gets to sacrifice. To build a healthy partnership, work on laying down the foundation for your relationship so difficult conversations don’t have to be hard ones and can be everyday, honest and real conversation. Building a healthy relationship requires hard work and being intentional about normalizing such difficult conversations. LoVita – Love Vitamins for a healthier is a community by Partners for Partners. We share stories about how Partners are working intentionally toward building a healthier relationship. To learn more check out the links below 🔗 All below links in a single page  – https://linktr.ee/lovitalovevitamins Website – https://lovita.blog Newsletter – https://mailchi.mp/81f58463e76b/subscribe Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/lovitalovevitamins Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/lovitalovevitamins

Inspiration
A word from the Shona language in Zimbabwe, Ndini, that translates to “this is me” in English.

Themes

  • Self Identity in a relationship
  • Balance between Sharing vs Controlling
  • Setting boundaries

Takeaways

  • How others see us is crucial for our self-identity; start by understanding your beliefs and then share what you learn and know.
  • Remain adaptable; acknowledge that your identity is malleable and that conflicts aren’t bad – just opportunities for curiosity and growth.
  • Regardless of how you are received when you share your truth, stand by your boundaries 

Discussion

Before you can share with your partner what you want, there is a lot of self-identity work that is needed to be done to answer how you are and who you want to be.

Doing identity work, we start to realize that identity as a concept is quite malleable, it’s quite fluid. Looking at it in terms of “this or that” is very reductionist. Identity is more of an amalgamation or a culmination of different moving parts.

To discover the fine balance of how much and when to share in a new relationships

  1. Digest and discern what are the important things to share
  2. Start to build a foundation of mutual respect and understanding by sharing in small doses and using curiosity to ask questions

Start with – Sit with yourself, and identity, what are those non-negotiable boundaries within you? What are the things that you don’t know you can’t function without?

Navigating the fine line between controlling and letting go can be tricky. We often feel like we have to give something to get something. By transforming our ORs into ANDs, we can change this negotiation in our favor. Start having these conversations with yourself, to understand where our boundaries start and when it gets to sacrifice.

To build a healthy partnership, work on laying down the foundation for your relationship so difficult conversations don’t have to be hard ones and can be everyday, honest and real conversation. Building a healthy relationship requires hard work and being intentional about normalizing such difficult conversations.

Skip the Beat – Nawantiti – Small Love

Ansh BahriLeave a comment

Takeaways

  • Play with all intensities of showing love: show love in big moments and show love in everyday moments
  • Show love often. We don’t have to wait for a big moment to show love. Love is an action – when we show love in everyday moments, we receive the opportunity to build a home that is filled with love.

The moment of celebration should be special. We should make our partners feel like they are loved. Celebrating every day does not and should not detract from celebrating the special events and milestones. Instead, it is about adding to the celebration we do every day. The craving for giving love and receiving love can be fulfilled every day, we don’t need to wait for the big moments to express it.

Two things to consider here are

  1. How – Intensity – how grand of a gesture you want your display of love to be
  2. When – Frequency – how often do you want to share your love

Traditionally, the norm has been about High Intensity and Low Frequency, celebrating love every day is about Low intensity and High frequency.

Planned spontaneity can help ease some of the anxiety that might revolve around planning surprises too often or not, based on how your partner defines what that frequency is.

If you are requesting a form of love, be willing to show that form of love. Starting with self-love, if showing love that you would like to get from someone else, seems challenging as well.

Skip the Beat – Wue Wei

Ansh Bahri

Creating a powerful group dynamic with a Courage Circle with Sandy Stream – Love Vitamins for Life

In this captivating conversation with Sandy Stream, we've explored the transformative power of self-love and respectful listening. Her journey from seeking inner peace to facilitating courage circles highlights the profound impact of creating safe spaces for authentic expression and connection. By embarking on our own self-discovery journeys and embracing respectful relationships, we can cultivate a world where love flows freely, nurturing the growth of both individuals and communities. If you enjoyed listening to this episode (or the podcast), please share your diagnosis with someone you love. Small doses over time is how you grow the love. The best gift you can give us is positive feedback and your observations. Follow us wherever you are listening and do us a favor by adding a Review on Apple Podcast. LoVita – Love Vitamins for Life is a community that believes love is a daily act and Love Vitamins are how we strengthen the love. Each individual brings a story, perspective and practice on how to learn, play, and grow in love. We share stories on how love shows up in your life in a digestible format. To learn more check out the links below 🔗 ⁠LoVita Blog⁠ for Frameworks, Love Doses and more Sign up for our monthly ⁠Newsletter⁠ for exclusive content We're also on Social media – ⁠Instagram⁠, ⁠Facebook⁠, TikTok Connect with our Guests Website: thecouragecircle.com Telegram: TheCourageCircle Book: The Courage Circle

Situation

Your partner has decided to make some significant changes in their lifestyle, and are determined to work out more regularly. You are very excited and want to help out any way you can. The next day, they come across an ad for a new peloton bike and end up making an impulse purchase.

Dissection by Raashi

As the partner that’s receiving and watching this interaction unfold it is really easy to start pointing out that “you do this all the time, you start a new goal, a new trend or something like that. And then you just go out and you spend all this money. And a few months later, nothing actually has changed.” It’s very, very easy to launch into that kind of conversation, and have that kind of a reaction. Because your intentions are good, you don’t want to see your partner making the same mistakes again and again, and you do want to be supportive, you think by helping them see the error in their ways or correct them before they do something wrong, you’re going to be actually helping them succeed with this new goal or this new hobby. Now, while the intention is good, how we go about supporting someone is normally where our growth lies.

Brene Brown says “you cannot shame or belittle people into changing their behaviors.” So when your partner comes in, share something with you, even if it’s something as dramatic as a Peloton purchase to support this new goal that they have. In that moment, when they’re sharing with you, that’s a bid for connection. They’re filled with joy and excitement. And they’re trying to find a way to succeed with this new goal that they have. This isn’t the time for you to tell them that you’ve seen this pattern before, that you don’t understand why they had to buy something in order to be able to successful with this particular goal. It’s an important conversation to have, and you will make space for it. In this moment, what’s more important to do is to use the framework of Yes, And, their joy, and get curious about what their plan is to stick with their goal and how this Peloton purchase fits into it.

When we get curious, we learn more about what they are intending to do. And you’re gathering information for this conversation that you want to have a little bit later about how you feel about impulse purchases, especially when you’re starting out on a new goal or a new hobby. And the fact that you might be seeing a pattern repeating. So in the end, no matter how right, you might feel that this is something that you really want to point out and talk to your partner about the moment that someone shares something that is bringing them joy, all that’s important for you to do is to celebrate with your partner, and let them make their own choices, which includes sometimes what you might label as a mistake, and to show up with and to really show up to them having this experience without critiquing them first.

Skip the Beat – Parasocial Relationships

Ansh Bahri

Skip the Beat – Parasocial Relationships – Love Vitamins for Life

Parasocial Relationship – We talk about how to be intentional in your date nights. To build a healthier relationship here are the two takeaways from the episode. 1️⃣ Manage your emotions first. 2️⃣ First, reflect on what is it that would create an intentional date night for you. Sign up to the newsletter and follow us on social media for exclusive content. https://linktr.ee/lovitalovevitamins

Situation

You and your partner are great at doing the chores of the day, taking care of all the errands, the laundry, the dishes, the cooking; you’re an amazing team, when it comes to kids, you are happy. It’s a healthy and happy household. Recently, you listen to the last episode of LoVita. Since then, you’ve been wanting a more intimate and more personal emotional connection with your partner. So you set up a date night, you book a reservation at your fancy nearby restaurant, you make it clear to your partner that you want this to be special and special in a way that there’s no distractions, no cell phones, no talk about kids, no talk about the things and tasks that might be coming up on your to do list. You want this to be a conversation between you and your partner. Like it might have been your first day where you’re talking about your dreams and stuff. But five minutes into the dinner, you realize that it’s not going the way you wanted it to. There’s a lot of distractions from the restaurant, your partner is not giving you the same response that you expected

Dissection by Raashi

So I feel like two separate thoughts come to mind.

The first I would say is that the origin of this problem started a while ago. And this lack of engagement that you’re feeling at your date night is really just a symptom of a much larger problem.

The second thing is that, you know, if you’re if you’ve already tried in the moment fixes like asking your partner to maybe put away their phone or you know, bringing up a conversation topic, but you see that it kind of fizzles out or you’re asking questions, you’re trying to dive deeper, but you’re getting one word responses.

Like if you’ve already done the work of asking your partner to be present, and they just aren’t. At this point, I would personally suggest that the healthier choice for you as an individual is to find some way to make this evening enjoyable for you, regardless of how your partner is showing up. And no, I don’t mean by be by being mean to them, or ignoring them or just feeling deflated, that you’re never going to have another fun date night ever again. What I mean is find a way to preserve your peace, and enjoy this evening so that you can then have the energy to be intentional when you get home, or over the next few days to really be able to dissect and dive deep on why were you not able to create that emotional connection at your date night.

It takes two to tango, right. And so even though your partner isn’t showing up for you as you’d like, you’re in charge of how this evening ends for you. And how you’re able to process this moment when you get home later that evening, or maybe over the next few days.

Now that first point that I mentioned, when it comes to the we and enjoying date night as a couple, well the secret tends to lie in communicating individual values, and then cultivating shared values. That’s normally where we see this disconnection really starting from is not having taken the time to step away from that daily grind, and really talk about what is actually going on. What is this feeling of, of missed connection, this lack of emotional connect that we’re feeling with our partner? And how do we want to address it? Or maybe why why is so important for us to begin with.

So my recommendation is over the next few conscious coupling sessions that you have, it’s important for you to intentionally share and discuss what your expectations are for date night. And what does it mean to show up emotionally, to have this conversation to be distraction free. And when you create a safe space to have this kind of a conversation and really share and listen to the different desires that you and your partner have. You can start to create a set of shared values. And that’s what’s going to help you to both show up to date night and be on the same page of what it means to not talk about the kids or worry about the next thing that needs to be taken care of the power of doing this work and crafting shared values before your next date night is how you both can work towards building a healthier relationship and having more meaningful evenings together, rather than just going through experiences of missed connection.