Listening

Creating a powerful group dynamic with a Courage Circle

Ansh Bahri1 Comment
Love Vitamin with Sandy Stream

Creating a powerful group dynamic with a Courage Circle with Sandy Stream – Love Vitamins for Life

In this captivating conversation with Sandy Stream, we've explored the transformative power of self-love and respectful listening. Her journey from seeking inner peace to facilitating courage circles highlights the profound impact of creating safe spaces for authentic expression and connection. By embarking on our own self-discovery journeys and embracing respectful relationships, we can cultivate a world where love flows freely, nurturing the growth of both individuals and communities. If you enjoyed listening to this episode (or the podcast), please share your diagnosis with someone you love. Small doses over time is how you grow the love. The best gift you can give us is positive feedback and your observations. Follow us wherever you are listening and do us a favor by adding a Review on Apple Podcast. LoVita – Love Vitamins for Life is a community that believes love is a daily act and Love Vitamins are how we strengthen the love. Each individual brings a story, perspective and practice on how to learn, play, and grow in love. We share stories on how love shows up in your life in a digestible format. To learn more check out the links below 🔗 ⁠LoVita Blog⁠ for Frameworks, Love Doses and more Sign up for our monthly ⁠Newsletter⁠ for exclusive content We're also on Social media – ⁠Instagram⁠, ⁠Facebook⁠, TikTok Connect with our Guests Website: thecouragecircle.com Telegram: TheCourageCircle Book: The Courage Circle

Introduction

Welcome to LoVita Love Vitamins for Life, where we bring you doses of love to enhance your well-being. In this episode, our host Raashi engages in a heartwarming conversation with Sandy Stream. Join us as we delve into Sandy’s journey and explore the power of self-love and the transformative impact it can have on our connections with others.

Sandy Stream Headshot

Sandy Stream is an author and activist whose work is built on the belief that everyone deserves and is capable of finding peace and warrior-like strength within themselves. After teaching law for 20 years, raising her two children, and facing a life full of adversities and lessons, she decided to turn her efforts towards facilitating workshops for young and experienced adults to encourage them to live in peace and power.

Finding Love Within

Sandy Stream’s quest for self-discovery began during a challenging period in her life. Through deep introspection, meditation, and inner work, she embarked on a journey to find peace and strength within herself. One of the profound lessons she learned was the importance of loving oneself deeply, including embracing approval and validation from within. Sandy believes that when our cup is full of self-love, it naturally overflows, enabling us to love others in a more profound and authentic way. Her message resonates with anyone seeking to develop a strong foundation of self-acceptance and compassion.

Building Courage Circles

Not content with simply transforming her own life, Sandy Stream now facilitates courage circles, where individuals gather to discuss various topics related to personal growth and self-love. These inclusive and respectful circles create a safe space for open dialogue and sharing. Sandy emphasizes the importance of dropping titles and preconceptions, enabling everyone in the circle to connect as equals. By fostering a culture of deep listening and respect, Sandy creates an environment where participants feel empowered to share their experiences and support one another’s journeys.

The Power of Respectful Listening

In our fast-paced society, we often encounter dismissive or fixing-type listening, where our thoughts and emotions are invalidated or ignored. Sandy Stream believes in the power of respectful listening as a transformative tool in building healthy relationships. By truly hearing others without judgment or a need to fix, we create a space where authenticity and vulnerability can thrive. In her courage circles, Sandy demonstrates the three types of listening and shows how the practice of being a clean human mirror can lead to deeper connections and personal growth.

Listen to the full episode for the listening exercise in practice, where Raashi shares something in that’s on her mind recently.

The Ripple Effect

Sandy’s courageous efforts in cultivating healthy relationships within her circles have had a remarkable ripple effect. Participants carry the experiences and insights gained in the circle into their personal lives, creating a positive impact on their relationships with family, friends, and partners. By modeling respectful listening and supporting one another’s journeys, the courage circles become a catalyst for change, fostering healthier connections beyond the circle itself.

Embracing the Journey

For those seeking to embark on a path of self-discovery and cultivate healthy relationships, Sandy Stream offers some invaluable advice. Firstly, she emphasizes the importance of truly listening and validating others’ experiences. By dropping the need to fix or invalidate, we create a foundation of trust and respect. However, it’s essential to remember that personal growth and healthy relationships require both parties to be open and willing participants. Sandy encourages individuals to trust themselves and make choices that align with their well-being, even if it means letting go of relationships that are not healthy.

Conclusion

In this captivating conversation with Sandy Stream, we’ve explored the transformative power of self-love and respectful listening. Her journey from seeking inner peace to facilitating courage circles highlights the profound impact of creating safe spaces for authentic expression and connection. By embarking on our own self-discovery journeys and embracing respectful relationships, we can cultivate a world where love flows freely, nurturing the growth of both individuals and communities.

Stay tuned for more life-changing Love Vitamins, where we explore the building blocks of love and well-being. As always, remember that small doses of love over time can transform the way we navigate our lives.

Connect with Sandy Stream

Having your partner CHOOSE YOU FIRST with Jerry Dugan

Ansh Bahri1 Comment

Having your partner CHOOSE YOU FIRST with Jerry Dugan – Love Vitamins for Life

In our conversation with Jerry Dugan, he says, "like live in a way that. She's gonna be like, all right, yeah, I choose him again for another day." So we asked him what his thoughts were on how to make sure that the love between partners doesn't just stay at a constant rate. The biggest thing is making sure I'm listening more than I'm speaking in the relationship. Listen to the full episode for Jerry's story on how he was putting them first and, and also communicating something he would want to do. We also learn about – H.A.L.T – A framework which can be used to reduce conflict in relationships. Before you say, anything to your partner, halt and check for the below H – Am I hungry? A – Am I angry about something else? L – Am I feeling lonely? T – Am I tired? And if the answer to any of those things is a YES, then the conflict or conversation between you and your partner isn't about whatever's going on – it's about something else entirely. So what can you do? Simple answer is to take care of yourself and let your partner know. If you're hungry – get a snack. If you're angry or feeling lonely or tired – let your partner know. Takeaways The biggest thing to do in a relationship is making sure you're listening more than speaking Put your loved ones first and communicate with them if there is something you would like to do Use HALT – the self assessment tool to halt the conversation if you find yourself Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. If you enjoyed listening to this episode (or the podcast), please share your diagnosis with 1 close relationship or anyone else who would enjoy listening to this as well. The best gift you can give us is positive feedback and your observations. Follow us wherever you are listening and do us a favor by adding a Review on Apple Podcast. LoVita – Love Vitamins for a healthier is a community by Partners for Partners. We share stories about how Partners are working intentionally towards building a healthier relationship. To learn more check out the links below 🔗 LoVita Blog for Frameworks Sign up for our monthly Newsletter for exclusive content We're also on Social media – Instagram, Facebook, TikTok All above links in a single page Connect with Jerry Dugan Website -⁠ https://beyondtherut.com⁠ Instagram -⁠ @beyondtherut⁠ Facebook -⁠ @beyondtherut⁠ TikTok -⁠ @beyondtherut⁠ LinkedIn -⁠ jerrydugan

Jerry Dugan is the CEO and Senior Consultant of BtR Impact, LLC, a consulting and training company focused on helping leaders define success on their terms so they can live fulfilled, meaningful lives with impact and not lose their faith, their families, or their health. His work experience includes serving in the U.S. Army as a combat medic, corporate training facilitator, and organizational development leader. Jerry is also the the host and producer of Beyond the Rut podcast and currently lives in Dallas, Texas, enjoying the empty nester life with his wife Olivia. They have two adult children, three cats, a dog, and no car loans!

This is the second episode from our conversation with Jerry. In our last episode, we focused on how you should go tell your partner today that they come first. Here, we talk about the HALT framework and other ways how you can make sure that your partner chooses you every single day.

What do you do to grow the love?

Often in relationships we find that when at some point things start to be very monotonous and the excitement levels are not the same as they used to be.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with this stability. It’s great. Having stability in a relationship is an amazing accomplishment. But sometimes it can start to fee like things are spicy but not hot. You are happy but not necessarily excited. Your partner thinks your great but not necessarily attracted to you as they used to be.

And to make sure your partner chooses you every single day – you need to be attractive. Ansh would say be the best yourself. Your partner loves you for who you are. Don’t take them from granted. Love them and they will love you back more. Raashi would say, work on yourself to you make you better than the best yourself. They will see you grow and love you more.

In our conversation with Jerry, he says, “like live in a way that. She’s gonna be like, all right, yeah, I choose him again for another day.” So we asked him what his thoughts were on how to make sure that the love between partners doesn’t just stay at a constant rate.

The biggest thing is making sure I’m listening more than I’m speaking in the relationship.

Listen to the full episode for Jerry’s story on how he was putting them first and, and also communicating something he would want to do. This led to the whole family working together to find a way and time on the calendar where he got his wishes fulfilled. It’s beautiful to hear how without explicitly asking the family – hey, I need four days – but instead expressing and communicating his desires to let them know that this is something that you wanna fulfill and which will bring joy to him. Then, somehow all of them work together to make that happen, to make sure everyone’s happy. And it’s beautiful to hear that. It’s like when you put others first, they learn to do the same. Because of that practice of being reciprocal in nature now the children, family, and your spouse, put you first as well, and it’s this beautiful cycle in which everyone feels happy.

H.A.L.T. – Self assessment tool to use before communicating with your partner

A framework which can be used to reduce conflict in relationships. Before you say, anything to your partner, halt and check for the below

H – Am I hungry?
A – Am I angry about something else?
L – Am I feeling lonely?
T – Am I tired?

And if the answer to any of those things is a YES, then the conflict or conversation between you and your partner isn’t about whatever’s going on – it’s about something else entirely. So what can you do? Simple answer is to take care of yourself and let your partner know. If you’re hungry – get a snack. If you’re angry or feeling lonely or tired – let your partner know.

A lot of times conflict occurs due to the fact that there’s something else going on. Something that’s just bringing a lot of heavy emotions and those emotions are seeping into all of the cracks that are available. It’s too much of the store inside of here, so you’re, you’re using every outlet you can get. That’s not fair though, on the people in your life. However, what is fair is to let them know that there’s a lot going on inside of you and that you might need to take a minute before you can have this conversation. HALT. What a beautiful framework.

Takeaways

  1. The biggest thing to do in a relationship is making sure you’re listening more than speaking
  2. Put your loved ones first and communicate with them if there is something you would like to do
  3. Use HALT – the self assessment tool to halt the conversation if you find yourself Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired.

Connect with Jerry

Unleash Prosperity in your Relationship with Victoria Rader a Possibility Coach

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Unleash Prosperity in your Relationship with Victoria Rader a Possibility Coach – Love Vitamins for Life

In this episode, we chat with Victoria Rader, a possibility coach on how to unleash prosperity in your Relationships with Victoria Rader, a Possibility Coach. Amongst other things, we learnt about a 4 step Ass Principle 1️⃣ Validation      "What an ass." 2️⃣ Ownership    "But he/she is my ass." 3️⃣ Forgiveness  "I choose to forgive them." 4️⃣ Love               "I choose to love them." 🎧 Listen to the full episode on https://lovita.blog/podcasts We discussed other topics like Self Identity and Conflicts Finding time for your relationships 5 Love Languages Relationship Vision Learning to listen LoVita – Love Vitamins for a healthier is a community by Partners for Partners. We share stories about how Partners are working intentionally towards building a healthier relationship. To learn more check out the links below 🔗 Website – https://lovita.blog/ Newsletter – https://mailchi.mp/81f58463e76b/subscribe Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/lovitalovevitamins/ Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/lovitalovevitamins All below links in a single page  – https://linktr.ee/lovitalovevitamins Connect with Victoria Rader Book – Proser mE: https://a.co/fTZYPzO Website – https://yu2shine.com/ Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/vica_rader/ Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/Yu2shine/ Email – reach@yu2shine.com

Victoria Rader, Ph.D. is a Possibility Coach™, transformational speaker, founder of YU2SHINE, and an internationally best-selling author of Prosper mE: the 35 Universal Laws to Make Money Work for You (and three other books). She is also the creator of Empower-mE and Master-mE apps, and the founder of Free mE EFT and Quantum Freedom.

Victoria has been married to her husband for 27 years and puts her relationship with her husband first.

Self Identity and Conflicts

We chat about self-identity and how it conflicts with your partners or anyone else’s identity when in a relationship

Victoria says “When you don’t know who you are and you are learning these boundaries by bumping into somebody else’s.” As an individual in a relationship, you are responsible for your own happiness. You can be happy without any changes in your partner or making anyone else responsible for the happiness.

Finding time for your relationships

The takeaway for us was on the value of having deeper conversations. It is much more impactful and fulfilling in a relationship to find opportunities to have a more meaningful conversations rather than spending more time with each other and having only shallow conversations (like talking about the weather). As Victoria and her husband were often travelling, they would get less time to talk to each other being in opposite ends of the globe, but it would be a much deeper conversation which they found to be a benefit to them. They always get time together on the calendar first. With their own mechanisms to spend time together, like travelling quarterly, watching silly shows, walking the dogs and more, they have set their non-negotiables and get plenty of opportunities to catch up and sync in with each other.

Now how does one get to having a meaningful conversation? At, LoVita we discuss many Frameworks to help this conversation started. The key is finding what works for you and your partner, and building on top of it. Then of course, sharing it with others not only reinforces your learning but also provides you opportunities to validate your thinking and learn from others. If that still seems too daunting, here’s a simple suggestion. Start with asking a question that you would like them to ask you. Start with asking questions, not just about the weather but things questions that will provide you an deeper insight of your partner.

5 Love Languages

We talk about the 5 Love Languages

  • Quality Time
  • Words of Affirmation
  • Acts of Service
  • Receiving Gifts
  • Physical Touch

Understanding your own language and then your partner’s language, and then being able to speak in that is so much easier on your relationship than trying to teach each other a brand new language.

Being aware of the love language of the partner takes communication, observation and time. Rather than defining a relationship, self centered as any human would through your own love languages, it can be a lot more beneficial to identify your partner’s love language. While being aware of each others love language is the first step, the next is to set markers for the minimum fulfillment and then to deliver a little bit more.

Ass Principle

Victoria talks about the Ass Principle. In times that your partner knows very well, something that they’re doing is very upsetting to you and they’re still doing it. When there’s a behavior or a pattern that is frustrating to you, do the below

  1. Validation – in your mind. Look at the person that you love and say, “what an ass.”
  2. Ownership – Say to yourself, “But he/she is my ass”. Own up to your relationship with them.
  3. Forgiveness – Say to yourself, “I choose to forgive them”. You neither excuse the behavior, not punish it.
  4. Love – Time to say, “I choose to love them.”

This 4 step process explained by Victoria, is a “two minute if that, it could be a 30 second mental reset that gets you validated, that gets you resituated in your relationship. That reminds you how the power of forgiveness and you actually look at them [with love]”

She explains how the 4 step process above can be applied to not only relationships but also to strangers. With some variations, she explains with an example of what to the next time someone cuts of off on the road while driving and you can “become a part of the greater healing versus, tearing yourself from inside.”

The power of this Principle is how the whole story, starts from you and ends with you. You’re not at all trying to change what the other person is doing which is powerful. Instead you are inviting them into the process simply by the choice of language that you’re using. Then by adding humor on top of it when you get comfortable with this principle is so beautiful. This can be very empowering, so the next time you bother your partner, you can try saying “Honey, I’m your ass” and see how that goes.

Relationship Vision

Victoria says, “we all go into the relationship with partial agenda, if we’re being honest, we have a vision. And that vision, our ability to communicate that vision to the person we’re considering commitment is going to either save you 10, 15, 20 years prior to divorce of strife or help you find the soulmate.”

Issues or your vision in your relationship should be addressed before anyone deepends their relationship into a romantic level. To those who have jumped into a relationship without this conversation prior, she says “you can say, Look, let’s start from ground zero. Let’s should start from ground zero. We just met today. This is what we haven’t done that we should have done three years ago, 10 years. Where do you see us going and what are the ways you want us to get there? And what are your non-negotiables? And if you see that the person can never meet your non-negotiables, please have enough love for you and for them to end the relationship. It’s not easy to end a relationship, but it is simple”

Learning to listen

Learning to listen without need of giving an answer. There is a simple exercise that she recommends. Set a timer for 15 minutes, and give undivided attention without asking one question, but just listening. Ask your partner, what’s on their mind and just listen to everything they’re saying. Listen, not only for the content, see when does their emotion go up and down cuz you will know more about them than they might be aware of. Then listen for repitition. The more they talk, the more they’ll start saying something and it’ll be a word or a phrase that they repeat. Understand that that is where they need the support the most.

How does this exercise help? Victoria says “We’re trained to listen with the purpose of understanding and even we try to understand so that we can act. Versus understand so we can love. There’s a huge shift to, I can completely disagree with you and still understand you and love you. And when listening is shifted to that, it’s a gift.” To validate your listening, something that you can do is, she adds, “empowering person back and saying, thank you for vulnerably sharing with me. I know you can figure all of this out. You don’t need a savior. I know you can figure this out.” She emphasises at the end on the point that as human being we all want to have somebody else say, you got this. As a partner, you not only have to say it but mean it.

Prosper mE

Victoria Rader has her latest book come out, Prosper mE and it’s about money. Check it out from the link below and also if you haven’t take a quick quiz to begin your journey of empowerment.